CHILD

What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give!

MOTHER'S MENU

My mother's menu consisted of two choices,
take it or leave it.

LIFETIME

You have a lifetime to work,
but your children are only young once.

ATTENTION: TO ALL PARENTS!

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
-Leonardo da Vinci

HIDE AND SEEK

I love to play hide and seek with my kids,
but some days my goal is to find a hiding place
where they can't find me until they are done high school.

CHILDREN

Don't worry that your children never listen to you,
worry that they are always watching you.

PLAYPEN

When my kids become wild and unruly,I use a nice safe playpen.
When they are finished, I climb out.-- Erma Bombeck

GLEANINGS

"I got two A's", the small boy cried.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked,
"Why didn't you get three?"

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said,
"Did you sweep the floor?"

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said,
And put the mower away.
His father asked him with a shrug,
"Did you clean off the clay?"

The children in the house next door,
Seem happy and content.
The same things happen over there
But this is how it went.

"I got two A's, the small boy cried,
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very proudly said,
"That's great, I'm glad you belong to me."

"Mom,I've got the dishes done,"
The boy called from the door.
His mother smiled and softly said,
"Each day I love you more."

"I've mowed the grass,"the tall girl said,
"And put the mower away."
Her father answered with much joy,
"You've made my happy day."

Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they're asked to do.
If they're to lead a happy life,
So much depends on you!

TOY

You will always be your child's favorite toy!

MEMORIES

When you have brought up kids,
there are memories you store
directly in your tear ducts.

PRESENCE

Your children need your presence
more than your presents.

NICE TO CHILDREN

Always be nice to your children.
They are the ones who will choose your rest home.
- Phyllis Diller

BIRTH

Giving birth is like taking your
lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-Carol Burnett

CHARACTER

The character of your children tomorrow
depends on what you put into their hearts today.

TRANQUILIZERS

Tranquilizers only work if you
follow the advice on the bottle.....
Keep away from children!
-Phyllis Diller

YOU

Today you are you,
that is truer than true,
there is no one alive,
that is youer than you!
-Dr. Suess

DAUGHTERS

A daughter will outgrow your lap.....but never your heart.

OPINIONS PLEASE

What do you think of this quote?
Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.

MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS

Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers
and have remained so,in circles joined
to circles,since time began.

FIRST 12 MONTHS

We spend the first 12 months of our child's life
telling them to walk and talk,and the next 12
telling them to sit down and shut up.
-Phyllis Diller

FOOL

What do you think of this statement??
You can fool all the people some of the time,
some of the people all the time,
but you can't fool Mom!

RESPECT

A woman brought you into this world,
so you have no right to disrespect one.

SUBURBAN MOTHER

A suburban mother's role is to deliver her children
obstetrically once and by car forever after.

SEE

Few things are more satisfying than seeing
your own children have teenagers of their own.

TEENAGERS

It's difficult to decide whether growing pains
are something teenagers have, or are.

THINK HAPPY

Think happy thoughts,
What you think about,
you bring about.

MOTHER

A good mother is worth a hundred teachers!

FRIEND

A real friend is one who walks in,
when the rest of the world walks out.

VAMPIRES

I don't like vampires,
they are a pain in the neck!

TROUBLE

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.
-Martin Mull